The Way You Talk to Yourself

Hello World,

Sometimes we do things we don’t like and later we beat ourselves up.

I know I’ve done that a lot.

It’s almost like I felt I did something wrong, and since no one was there to punish me I had to punish myself.

I’m thinking, for example, about the times that I set a time to go to bed and then I ended up watching two more episodes on Netflix instead.

And then in the morning, more tired that usual, I berated and reprimanded myself for “being bad”.

I genuinely believed this would help me stop going to bed late.

It’s a habit that’s so deeply ingrained I still catch myself doing it for the littlest things…including….beating myself up!

But what I’ve learned is that is it not useful.

When I beat myself up, I feel terrible.

And from that place, I rarely have the emotional energy to look at WHY I am doing the thing in the first place, let alone change it.

WHICH KEEPS ME DOING THE SAME THING.

And the beating up cycle continues.

When you’re beating yourself up, do you know that you have a choice in the matter?

Listen carefully to the words you hear: they are the words you yourself are choosing to tell yourself.

Likely, you are not intentionally choosing them; they are habit thoughts from the past, so you are not consciously saying them.

That’s why it can be so powerful to pay attention: because as soon as you shine a light on your thinking, you realize that you are doing this in the first place.

What if you had a small child and always teased them, and later found out that this was really hurting them?

My guess is you would decide to stop doing that.

Maybe it would be hard if it was a habit, but you would probably decide to make a commitment to yourself to choose your words more carefully.

You are that small child and you’re not just teasing,

the words you say to yourself matter,

Because you matter.

If you had the choice, how would you speak to yourself?

What if that is truly a choice that you have?

The first step to creating a loving and compassionate relationship with yourself is always awareness. If you’re ready to transform your relationship with yourself, I am here for you.

Email me at alana@alanaschramm.com for a free consult.