Perfectionism and Showing Up

Hello World,

I am a recovering perfectionist.

Which means that I rarely showed up for things.

I made dance videos, and noticed every single flaw. So I didn’t share them.

I wrote posts, and saw them as boring and rambly. So I didn’t post them.

I wanted to develop new friendships, and thought I wasn’t interesting enough. So I didn’t reach out.

On the rare occasions that I did show up, the stress of planning and editing and self-analysis and going over and over the thing again and again, left me exhausted and frustrated.

And then when it was out in the world, I wouldn’t be able to relax until I got the external validation that it was ok,

AKA: allowed to exist only with approval from other people.

Just the thought of starting and knowing how much energy and stress I would have to exert - prevented me from even trying.

When we think things have to be perfect before we share them, we do the world and ourselves a great disservice.

We put a basically unachievable standard on our work.

Which makes us not want to do the work.

Or it makes us think putting out work is so depleting and overwhelming.

Which makes us not want to do the work.

Here’s what I’ve learned: the reason I don’t want to do things imperfectly is because I’m afraid that people will see that I am not good enough.

So I use my perfectionism as a protection mechanism.

But ironically, keeping my perfectionism keeps me from putting out work and actually getting better.

So what do you do?

Put out your work. Even if it’s not perfect. Even if it’s scary.

Set a time limit and then just release it into the world.

YES, IT FEELS AWFUL. But so does not showing up for yourself.

It can feel bad AND you can do the thing.

I promise it gets better, and more importantly: you learn to take up space in your own life.

What if the point wasn’t to be perfect, but just to show up?

If your perfectionism is preventing you from fully showing up in your life, it’s because your perfectionism feels safe. But you are safe. If you want help showing up more in your life, let me help you.