Rejection and Self Confidence

Hello World!

As I put myself out there, I am seeing more and more clearly the connection between rejection and self confidence.

Or more accurately, the fear of rejection and self confidence. Because the truth is, so often we don’t even experience an actual rejection. Just the thought of it is enough to keep us from doing the things we want.

I know that for so long I never wanted to show up in the world because I was afraid of what other people would think. I was scared they would say things like, “Who does she think she is?”, or “Does she actually think this is good enough to post publicly?”

What I really feared was the feelings I would experience if that happened: rejection, shame, embarrassment, humiliation, and other lovely friends.

So I hid myself away. I kept waiting until I felt more confident.

Only I never did feel more confident. If anything, it felt like the fear kept growing and growing. And I was layering self-judgement on top of it: “I shouldn't be afraid. I should just do it. What’s wrong with me?!”. So fun.

At some point, I just decided I was tired of feeling afraid and I just went out and did the things I was afraid of doing. I posted the videos and I showed up. It was terrifying, and it was amazing.

And you know what, nothing bad happened. I mean, I know that’s kind of obvious in hindsight, but whenI was in the midst of it, finger about the hit the post button, my brain kind of reacted like I was going to die. (And that’s an actual thing, our brains did evolve to keep us safe by making us fear unknown things.)

And so what I’ve learned is this:

I thought I had to get confidence in order not to feel the fear of doing things. But actually what I had to do was allow the fear, do things anyways, and that built the confidence.

Do I still feel fear when I do uncomfortable things? YES. Do I do them anyways? YES. Because it’s worth it. The more I do scary things the more I see that fear doesn’t hurt me. The more I build the skill of allow fear to lead me rather than hold me back.

The more I like myself.

Think about it, what would your life look like if you weren’t afraid of experiencing fear?

What is one scary thing you could allow yourself to do today?

If you’re interested in taking this to a deeper level I would love to work with you!