Wanting To Give Up On Goals
It's SEPTEMBER already - four months left to go until the end of the craziest year!
It's got me thinking about one of my goals,
And as its deadline is approaching (without me having achieved it), my brain is going hard into self-protection overdrive.
It's telling me:
What if it doesn't happen!!!!
There's definitely not enough time left to do it!!!!
What are people going to think when you don't succeed!!!!
And it offers me:
We should just give up...
Let's just stop now and start again next year...
Who cares, it's not that important anyways...
You might be telling yourself the fact that these thoughts are coming up means that you're doing it wrong.
But if you have set a goal and you notice your primitive brain offering you these thoughts, let me reassure you:
Nothing has gone wrong.
Or maybe even:
You're doing it right.
When we don't set goals and continue living the same life we have lived, our primitive brains feel safe. No leaving the cave, no potential DYING.
But when we set out to do something different, our brains FREAK OUT. NO. DON'T DIE. STAY HERE. DO NOTHING. WHATABOUTHETIGEROUTTHERE.
So if you feel like giving up: good job!
It means you have put yourself out of your comfort zone and you are growing.
People think growing sounds so amazing, but you guys, sometimes growing straight up just kind of sucks because it can feel like:
Self-doubt
Worry
Fear
And none of these feelings mean that something is wrong.
You're just knocking up against the edges of your comfort, the edges of your current identity as someone who doesn't have that goal achieved. You're just triggering your survival response from your primitive brain.
Remember growing pains? Your brain feels them too, it's uncomfortable but it's the only way to get taller.
My guess is that you are happy to not be baby-sized now and were willing to go through growing pain.
Looking back on that pain now, you can tell your growing bones of the past the same thing you can tell your growing brain now:
I know it sucks, but this is not forever and it's part of the process.
The discomfort in your body has literally nothing to do with who you are as a person.
I promise you will get through this; and it's pretty cool over here in adult-sized land.
This is why I love setting goals - on the surface it's about getting that external thing (which, would awesome, no one is denying that!) but what it really does is put you in a container for growth.
You don't get to choose if your bones grow or not, but you 100% get to decide if your brain does (and many of us don't because it can be so uncomfortable).
You get this one amazing, painful, beautiful, excrutiating, exhilarating life and you get to decide what direction you want to point it in. It's YOUR life.
What if anything you truly wanted was on the table, when would you decide to go for it?
What if you could take your own hand and walk into the unknown with courage and say, I'm willing to experience it all, the good and the bad, I've got my back and I'm going for it.
What kind of wild and amazing life do you think you could create?
You've got this, beautiful.
Alana
PS: If you're ready to create a life that you love, let me help you. Your brain might be telling you, you haven't been able to do it in the past, or it's possible for other people but not you, or any number of thoughts to keep you in the cave. Let me tell you: it IS possible, it's possible for YOU, and you're worth it.