Confidence vs. Self Confidence
If you saw me in a park, you would definitely think I was weird:
My speaker would be playing music, and I would be dancing in public alone or with my hula hoop.
And here’s what I would be thinking about you thinking about me being weird: “__”.
Nothing.
I have confidence now, but until I built it, I wasn’t able to dance unless I was wasted and everyone around me was wasted and we were in a designated dancing area full of other wasted people.
This confidence has come from repetition (I’ve been this weirdo a bunch of times before), but:
the very first time I did it, all I had was my crippling anxiety and fear of rejection and terror of humiliation.
And those feelings prevented me from doing things I wanted to do because I always thought
"Unless I have confidence first, I can’t do things."
Which is fine for the things I already know how to do.
But for NEW things, if I have never done them, I don’t have confidence. And if I need confidence in order to do them…then what?
There’s confidence, which is looking to our past for evidence we can do things, and then there’s self-confidence, which is looking to our future for evidence.
Crazy, right?
Self-confidence is learning to trust our future self. I may not have done the thing YET, but I know she will figure it out and be able to do it.
How?
By making decisions to do hard or new or scary things and then showing myself that I can. Each time, I learn to trust myself a little more.
It doesn’t even need to be a big thing or a huge project, it can be smiling at the stranger across the street, or going to bed 5 minutes earlier - as long as it feels like it’s knocking against the edges of your comfort.
What would your life look like if you believed you could choose something and just know you would be able to achieve it?
Well, in case you forgot: you are amazing, and you can.
Alana
PS: If you struggle with confidence or self-confidence, I would love to show you how your mindset is keeping you stuck, and how to create an immediate change. Hit the button below to book a consult (and if it's scary: you can use this as an opportunity to build your self-confidence :)