Have Tos

Hello World,

What are the things you have to do?

I used to spend a huge part of my life in overwhelm because of all my Have Tos.

I have to make a decision about meeting this person for dinner or resting on the weekend.

I have to make time for meditation.

I have to do my laundry.

I have to…

I would spin round and round because there were so many things I had to do and I felt so much pressure all the time to get them all done.

I would beat myself up for not getting things done.

I would beat myself up for not getting enough done.

I would beat myself up for getting the wrong thing done.

I would just find any excuse to beat myself up.

And so I was not only overwhelmed but also exhausted and beaten down.

But here’s the crazy thing, it was me doing all those things to myself:

I was the one choosing to do or not do the things and I was the one beating myself up for doing or not doing the things.

I was resentful of all the things that were taking my time away from all the things I wanted to do,

Without realizing that:

The things I HAD to do, were actually things that I WANTED to do:

I didn’t have to make a decision to meet the person. I literally could just not answer the text. No one was forcing me.

But actually I wanted to make a decision.

I didn’t have to meditate. I could watch Netflix instead. No one was coercing me.

But actually I wanted to meditate.

I didn’t have to do laundry. I could genuinely wear dirty clothes. No one was making me wear clean clothes.

But I actually wanted to do my laundry.

Shifted my thinking from “have to” to “want to” changed how I felt about doing the things.

It didn’t necessarily make me feel super excited (can you imagine: “omg YAY can’t wait to do laundry on a Friday night!!”)

But it made me lose the resistance to the task.

And it’s kind of crazy to look at all the things you “have to do” in life:

Because you technically don’t HAVE TO do ANYTHING you don’t want to do.

And when you allow yourself to open up to that, you realize,

You don’t have to, you just want to.

What are you telling yourself you have to do? And then ask yourself, do you have to, or do you want to?

If you would like to go deeper into this, you know where to find me. And just so we’re clear, you don’t HAVE to ;)