How I healed my relationship with my Future Self

When I was in school, I once had this mean teacher who wouldn’t always teach us all the material, and then ridicule us for getting an answer wrong. We were all so scared of him, and as you might guess, no one participated in class.

I told myself I would never treat anyone that way.

And yet...

I used to do this constantly to my Future Self.

I wouldn’t get her groceries and then judge her for ordering out and being “bad with money”.

I would put her in toxic relationships and then blame her for not being able to make relationships work.

I would overschedule her day and then criticize her for being “lazy”.

I would never set her up for success, and then, because she couldn’t achieve what I wanted her to under those ridiculous circumstances, I then wouldn’t trust her to be:

• Good with money

• Good with relationships

• Good with work

When really, she was just trying her best, doing what she could with the tools she had.

I wasn’t intentionally being mean to her, I just didn’t realize what I was doing.

But when I started thinking about her as an actual real-life other Person,

I realized that it didn’t have to be this abusive relationship, that I could treat her like my best friend or a sister:

Instead of ditching her, I could think about her when I make plans,

Instead of verbally abusing her, I could ask for her advice,

Instead of letting her be hungry, I could make her nice meals.

Basically, I could just love her.

Which helped create this amazing relationship of trust:

I know she’s not going to be afraid of participating in my life because I will have prepared her as best I can, even if she gets it “wrong”, she knows I have her back.

I can ask her to write a post for me 2pm on Tuesday, and I know she will do it.

I can ask her to do something that terrifies me and I know will terrify her, and I know she will do it.

And because of that, we’re both showing up and creating such an amazing life for us.

Everyone deserves this kind of relationship with themselves, and to create the exact lives they want. These two things are inextricably connected. If this resonated with you, you are my people and I can help you create both. Your Future Self is waiting, sign up for a consult.

Have an amazing week,

Alana