How to Make Decisions
Hello World,
What is it like for you when you have to make a Big Decision?
If you’re anything like me, you spend a ridiculous amount of time spinning, and going back and forth between A and B.
And then when you’ve finally decided on A, the TEENIEST little bit of evidence supporting B makes you throw all your plans out the window and start spiralling again like a mad, confused spinning top
Until disoriented and exhausted you collapse onto the ground, hyperventilating while you trying and steady yourself and try not to throw up.
Since working on my mind, my ability to decide on things has been improving and I want to share what I’ve learned:
First my primitive brain usually sends me an invitation to beat myself for not having already decided. Which I sometimes take, but it never actually helps me decide.
Instead, I need to have compassion for myself: of course my primitive brain wants me to feel confused: when I am confused, I don’t do anything, which means that I am safe from the danger of doing Something New, i.e, risky, and DYING (according to my primitive brain).
Then I need to understand WHY am I spinning.
The reason is:
I believe there is a right answer, and,
I don’t choose it, something will go HORRIBLY WRONG!!!!
These thoughts send me into confusion, and then I indulge in spinning. I believe that if I just spend more time going back and forth deliberating, or talking to more people, or just “doing” more, the Right Answer will eventually flow down from the heavens and wrap me in a warm cloak of certainty.
Nope. Spoiler alert: there is no right answer.
And the certainty you want to feel also won’t come. Or rather, it won’t come TO help you decide, it comes AFTER you’ve already decided. It comes from committing to believe that whatever you chose was right.
So if you could choose either A or B and feel good about either, how do you pick?
You ask yourself what your reasons are for choosing and —> if you like those reasons.
These are your reasons. You don’t need to share your reasons with anyone and these reasons only need to be good reasons to YOU.
Sometimes it feels like we are trapped in a cycle of confusion and it’s so hard to escape. You don’t need to feel trapped. I would love to show you how you can have your own back and feel amazing about your choices.