Why You Don’t Know What You Want

Hello World!

“I don’t know what I want” is something I hear often from my clients, and that I used to hear often inside my own brain.

I didn’t know what hobbies I liked, I didn’t know where I wanted to live, I didn’t know what job I wanted. It felt like I didn’t know anything about what I wanted for myself and for m t life. I kept waiting for the answer to dawn upon me.

I kept believing that one day I would “just know”.

But that feeling never came instead I was stuck with feeling stuck.

Other people seemed to know what they wanted to do with their lives: get married, get this job, buy this house, move to this place, do this hobby, but I just felt like I had no idea ever.

And then I realized that a big reason we don’t know what we want is because we stop practising wanting. Yes, wanting is a practice. And when we stop practising something, we stop being good at it.

But here’s the problem: many of us stop wanting things because we don’t believe we can get that thing. If you want a house in Vancouver and believe you will never be able to afford it, wanting it becomes painful. And when things we do feel painful, we stop doing the thing.

So how can we resolve this?

We can start by wanting things we already have; not being grateful for those things, but actively wanting those things. This practice shows your brain that wanting can feel really good too. And then when your brain starts being open to wanting, it will unlock other things that you want.

For me, this practice has allowed me discover all the things that I want. And now I love wanting. I love thinking of more things that I want because it feels fun. And because those things now exist in my head, I know I can create goals and strategies to make those things exist outside of my head. The way to create a life you desire is first by knowing what you want. So it’s so important to allow yourself to want what you want.

What are the things you want that you already have?

If you need help figuring out what you want, or how to turn those wants into reality, I would love to work with you and show you how.